Vandy is playing 5D chess

If you play for Vanderbilt, you understand that you’re probably not going to be in the upper echelon of the SEC, unless of course you’re insane. So to make it to the top, you’re going to have to do something different.

Enter this year’s Vandy squad. Or should I say, this year’s local construction crew. For those that don’t know, the Commodores stadium is currently under construction. No, not their new stadium. Their CURRENT stadium. That includes some hilarity that we’ll probably never see the likes of again.

Construction features such as a crane holding up both the scoreboard and kicking net. (Note – for the love of humanity, please don’t walk underneath this scoreboard. I don’t give an ass if you’re wearing a hard hat or not. It’s dangerous. Safety first!):

The visitor’s “locker room” is a tent set up in a parking lot. Yes, you read that correctly:


Obviously, Vandy’s athletic department and school officials are a bunch of morons…or are they??? Think about it- if you were an opposing team, and you showed up to a football stadium that used to be a parking lot 20 minutes ago, would you take the game seriously? What if you were forced to drop trou and put your cup on in a tent set up on asphalt that was erected outside of the stadium? Would that be a game that you were hyped up for? Or would it be a game that you’d overlook, not take seriously, and brush off?

Oh those tricky Commodores! If they can’t beat you straight up, they’ll turn the game into a rock fight. Literally. With rocks they found on the construction site. The only thing that would make it even better is if a jackhammer was being used during the game, along with bulldozers moving dirt and dump trucks beeping while they’re backing up. And when all of the commotion causes you to take your mind off the game just slightly, BAM! Vandy punches you in the mouth and wins covers as an underdog. Watch out slightly above last place in the SEC!